Reclaiming Your Spirit: A Personal Journey

The Turning Point

At the start of the year, just before I turned 40, I reached a major turning point. It was a moment of deep reflection (I chuckle, as they say this happens a lot).

The driver wasn’t due to the age milestone, but more largely to the Bible Scripture I had started immersing myself into.

To add context, I’ve always identified as a Christian, largely because I grew up in a religious household. I prayed and reflected regularly. However, I now realise that for much of my life, I hadn’t fully grasped what it meant to consciously know God, or to form a personal relationship with Him.

A Yearning for More

I found myself yearning for something deeper. Partly for my daughters, yes, but also because, with time, I’d begun to sense the fragility of life.

The day-to-day hustle can disguise it, but when you pause, you realise: there has to be more to all this.

The weight of a career, family, and motherhood also holds a deep part of this reflection, and it wouldn’t be balanced if I didn’t admit it.

My Daughters, My Orbit

My daughters hold such a powerful centre in my life. I think of them as the stars that orbit around me, one is a fiery sun, while the other is a much calmer moon. But both are truly vital to my day and night.

I know what I put out to them is a major force, so I not only owe this self-reflection and self-discovery to myself, but to them.

The Strain of Pouring from an Empty Cup

My deepest struggle has been finding time for myself, and I know a lot of parents can resonate.

As a mother raising children in the diaspora without extended family nearby, I often feel like I’m pouring from an empty cup.

The pressure to balance everything, motherhood, work, home, faith, all became overwhelming. And in trying to hold it all together, I started losing myself.

The mental strain cracked something open. I sacrificed myself more and more, and with each sacrifice, my spirit dimmed. I felt robbed of my body, my soul, my essence. And with that came resentment. I missed the person I used to be.

Finding Solitude in the Morning

I haven’t always been a morning person, but after my first child, I found that getting up a little earlier helped me shift a lot in my days.

I lead with this because those moments have led me to this point of self-reflection and self-discovery.

Those early mornings gave me something I hadn’t realised I was missing: solitude.

As a busy mum, always in “go mode” and constantly looking after others, the mornings gave me a space to just be me.

At first, I used the mornings to set up my home. But slowly, I carved out time for exercise… then for devotionals.

Those quiet hours became my anchor. They were not a cure-all, but a sanctuary.

A chance to connect with my body through movement, and with my spirit through scripture and prayer.

So this blog is my attempt to reclaim my whole self: body, mind, and spirit.

Scripture That Comforts and Confronts

How has Scripture shaped me in recent times?

It has opened up a different perspective. One that has been both comforting and distressing at the same time.

When I began reading Scripture more deeply, I was honestly shocked. The people I once believed were ‘flawless heroes of faith’ were, in fact, just human.

Abraham passed off his wife Sarah as his sister, twice! Then, like father like son, Isaac did the same. Jacob, our forefather Israel, deceived his brother out of his blessing, only to be deceived later by his uncle!

These weren’t perfect people. They were flawed, fragile, and often made poor decisions.

The Difference Is Surrender

And yet, funny as it is, it showed me the very human side of us all.

We are all broken. We all have our struggles.

God knows fully well we are flawed, but the difference is that they made themselves available to God.

That’s the difference.

They offered themselves, messy and broken as they were, to be used for His glory. Not their own.

The Journey I Want to Share

So this is the journey I want to share here, the messiness of life, and how we keep showing up for God.

How we learn to use our gifts. How we trust Him through the chaos. How we build a life, and a community, rooted in grace.

Not for Me, Lord, but for Your Glory

Psalm 115